2019, who is she?

We are finally on the cusp of a new decade and so many of us are excited to bring in a new era of life and all it has to offer. While my end of 2019 could have gone a little better, there was so much that happened in 2019 that I’m still in disbelief of it. 2019 taught me how to be resilient and strong in times of desperation, how to manifest goals and wishes, and how to be more optimistic despite the rain. While 2019 ended on a bittersweet note for me, I know that everything that happened, had to happen. 

Just to recap some of you, 2019 started strong and while my optimism was at an all time high, my confidence and stability started taking a hit. As some of you know, I had held the same office job for almost 8 years. It was what I knew and what was comfortable at the time. From the moment I graduated high school, it became my safety blanket. While I learned so much from my almost 8 year stint at the office, my entire adulthood reached an impasse that I could not shake off. I had already made the mental decision that I would quit the office job because it was not leading me anywhere, I was a stick in the mud and nothing was happening for me. I was working 2 jobs at the time and decided to go for another internal position at the non-profit organization that I was working at. While I got the new position, that also meant that I was finally going to part ways with the office job. Although it was a bittersweet decision, I was much happier and content with my choices. 

If there is one thing that really stayed with me the second half of the year is that everyone is dispensable, no matter what the situation. I had started the school year with my new position, learning all there is to know about what it was since it was a fairly new and undiscovered position. I was in and out of trainings, meetings, check-ins and ultimately decided that I loved what I was doing, even if my time was completely crunched. Things were going really well, until the company started tanking, eventually leading to its closure and the dismissal of over 1,000 employees across the San Fernando Valley, Pico Union, and Los Angeles areas. We all took a massive hit, being terminated from our jobs with no prior notice, getting our last paycheck, and ultimately being told that we would not get paid for the last week of work that we clocked in. I’m not an overly emotional person and I tend to keep my emotions at bay and away from others, but this event was so catastrophic, both emotional and mentally, that I didn’t know how I was going to make ends meet in the last 2 months of the year. Being left unemployed during the most expensive months of the year was fucking hard and yet, there was hope waiting to be picked up and carried. 

I was unemployed for almost a month until I was finally hired at a law firm as a receptionist. I was completely out of my league and knowledge, but I’ve learned so much in the month and a half that I’ve been there, thanks to an old classmate of mine who helped me land the job.

2019 was quite a year. It manifested itself into one of the hardest years I’ve had in a long time. Quitting a job, losing a job, and gaining a new job all in the span of 6 months really made me reevaluate being an adult because holy shit, is it tough. I’m now 26 years old and finally in my late 20’s while the roaring’ twenties are ahead of us and about to take on full steam. There’s not much more to say about the last decade and how much it’s changed me, despite it being the more formative time of my life. I guess there’s more to life than just random status updates on facebook…

2020, I don’t know if i’m ready for you, but I sure as hell won’t go down without a fight. 

xo, Mirms

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