Growing up, I never really paid attention to what I wore. As a child, my mother picked out most of my wardrobe and I didn’t really care, especially since the schools I attended had a mandatory uniform policy. It wasn’t something I fully invested myself in, but as I got older, I started noticing changes in my body and what may or may not look good on me. Dressing my changing body became my biggest obstacle, from wearing tight-fitting jeans to loose t-shirts, my style evolution slowly started to take place once I hit my teenage years.
Like many people in my generation, we have some downright awkward memories that we captured during our pre-pubescent years. I know for a fact that my mother kept the most embarrassing pictures of me from middle school and high school. I still look at them every once in a while when they pop up during a random spring cleaning or we just come across a photo album. My style has totally evolved (thank GOD) and it’s definitely a lot easier to style.
For a long while, I was very uncomfortable in my own body, especially because I didn’t look like my friends. They were small and wore “average” sized clothes. I would avoid buying clothes at the mall or local fashion stores because I always had to pick something from the plus size side and I found it so embarrassing. Dealing with that really triggered a lot of mixed emotions and I would find myself falling back into my eating disorder. I don’t openly talk about my eating disorder because I still carry some shame, knowing I put my body through that trauma. It wasn’t until I was well into my 20’s that I realized that I can no longer hide my insecurities and instead embrace them.
Now, I can’t say that every day is easy when it comes to dressing myself. Sometimes it really takes a lot for me to actually get dressed in something I enjoy. Other days, I wake up with an outfit in mind and rock it for the rest of the day. It’s not easy to dress a plus size body, but it sure is a hell of a lot of fun. With that being said, I believe that even as a plus size woman, not every outfit or clothing item will look good on me, even if I try to kid myself. It’s all about learning how to dress my curves in what suits me well and learning to love all the nooks and crannies of my body. Although it can be a hassle at times, especially when I have a vision of an outfit I’m brewing in my mind, I will always go for my “safety” outfit: jeans, t-shirt, blazer or cardigan and sensible shoes. It may seem like a lot, but for me, it’s what brings me the most comfort on days that I just don’t want to waste time figuring out an outfit.
It’s not an easy task, for anyone of any size. But dressing in something that makes you comfortable and makes you feel good is definitely half the battle when it comes to everyone’s routine.
It’s only an outfit…